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Researcher Amanda Kowal
says parents’ unequal treatment of children is O.K.
when they make their reasoning clear. Photo by Liz Townsend
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Parents
Can Show Preferential Treatment
By Jeremy Diener
Historically parents have been told to treat
their children equally to foster higher self-esteem, positive
sibling relationships and prevent behavior problems. However,
a University of Missouri-Columbia researcher found that parents
can treat their children differently and avoid the potentially
negative consequences as long as the children perceive preferential
treatment to be fair.
Based on her study, Amanda Kowal, an assistant
professor of Human
Development and Family Studies, found that children can determine
who in their family is receiving preferential treatment and whether
that treatment is legitimate. The study indicates children’s
perceptions of fairness were linked to greater self-worth and
fewer behavior problems. This holds true whether kids see themselves,
or their siblings, as the beneficiaries of preferential treatment.
For the study, Kowal interviewed 135 children
and their older siblings independently about parents’ distribution
of preferential treatment. Mothers’ reports of the children’s
behavior problems also were obtained. The researcher explored
the children’s perceptions of preferential treatment, the
fairness of preferential treatment and the socioemotional well-being
of the children.
“Conventional wisdom holds that children assess preferential
treatment that benefits a sibling as unfair, which in turn makes
them unhappy,” Kowal said. “However, the results suggest
that in many cases, kids think it’s fair that they receive
more punishment and less affection than a sibling. When they think
it’s fair, they have fewer behavior problems and higher
levels of socioemotional development. I think this speaks to the
fact that we potentially underestimate kids by assuming they unilaterally
resent their siblings’ preferential treatment.
“On a practical level, the results of
this study suggest that it is important for parents to understand
children’s views about the legitimacy of preferential treatment,”
Kowal said. “Although parents may believe that their behavior
is warranted or fair, they may not make their reasoning clear
to their children. As a result, children may form attributions
that are different from what parents intended.”
Kowal suggests that parents need to know
when their children possess a differing view so that they may
adjust their parenting behavior to be more equitable or to treat
children differently but in ways that children agree are fair,
provide clearer explanations to children about the reasons behind
preferential treatment, or help children explore and perhaps modify
their conception of what constitutes fair versus unfair treatment.
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Copyright © 2007 — Curators of the University of Missouri
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Last Update:
November 19, 2007
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